At my mother’s memorial service, I sat with my arm around Mom’s best friend and partner, comforting her, wondering if I would ever be able to cry for Mom the way she was. Janie sat with her left arm tight across her chest, her right hand dabbing at steadily flowing tears with an already soggy handkerchief. I sat with my left hand on her left elbow, my right arm around her shoulders, hugging her, patting her.
            I listened to person after person get up and eulogize a woman I knew as Mom, but not, it seemed the same woman everyone else knew as Kay Long. They described her as loving, generous, sympathetic, funny, always available. I wished I had known this woman of whom they spoke so highly, not the woman she was when she wasn’t around these people, when she was just Erin Long’s mother.
            I looked around the reception hall after the service, when Mom’s friends gathered for the cookies and punch the church provided. Most of her friends were female – single, divorced, or widowed; most living with another woman, ostensibly to share household chores and expenses. But if it was that simple, why did most of these women also share a bedroom and a bed, in a two, three or four bedroom home? I shook my head. These mostly almost elderly women refused to come out of their well-provisioned closets.
            “You okay, sugar?” Denny appeared at my elbow, a little paper plate laden with cookies and a Styrofoam cup of something red in her hands.
            I nodded, suddenly not quite trusting my voice. I hadn’t cried since Mom died a week earlier and I didn’t want to start now, in this most public place. Denny set the cookies down on a nearby table and snuck an arm around my waist. I laid my head on her shoulder and took a deep breath.
            “How’s Janie?”
            “She’s really scared Derrick is going to force her out of the house,” I answered, looking around for Janie. Her friends surrounded her, trading hugs and sometimes smiling or laughing at something one of them said.
            “Would you look at these ladies? How many of them are actually couples?” Denny said.
            I laughed. I had known almost all of the women in attendance most of my life and many of them had been together for thirty years or more. Yet none of them touched the other in public. A respectable distance of six inches or more separated them as they stood around the room visiting.
            “I know. Mom and Janie were the same way in public,” I answered, snuggling up to Denny. “I’m so glad we aren’t like that!”
            Denny and I were out and had seldom been ashamed or scared to show our love for each other in public, even when the glances and stares and sometimes glares of disapproval could be overwhelming. Even now, among these people I had known for so long, the disapproval of our touching was strong.
            “Erin, may I speak to you in private?” My brother Derrick took my elbow and led me away. “I will never understand how you can be so blatant!”
            “Oh, get over it, Derrick,” I said. “Just because you and your wife are frigid doesn’t mean me and my wife have to be.”
            “She is NOT your wife,” Derrick said, his face turning red. “And Virginia and I choose to act with propriety in public. We are not frigid.”
            “What do you want, Derrick?” I asked, impatient to get away from him and his pompous attitude.
           “Mr. Hallaby needs to know when we can get together for the reading of Mother’s will,” he answered righteously.
            “I’m off all week. Choose a time and we’ll be there.”
            “This is a family matter, Erin. It isn’t necessary for Denny or Janie to be in attendance.”
            “Janie is family, Derrick, whether you like it or not. As is Denny. If they aren’t allowed to be there, count me out as well. You can let me know what, if anything, Mom left us.”
            I turned to stomp away and found myself face-to-face with Mr. Hallaby.
            “I couldn’t help but overhear part of your conversation,” he said. “Derrick, Denise and Jane are both mentioned in your mother’s will, so it is necessary for them both to be at the reading. Erin, please forgive me for having to take care of this today, but I do need to know when you all can get with me as I have a very busy schedule.”
            “I understand, Mr. Hallaby. You and my brother choose a time and let me know. Denny, Janie, and I will be there.”
            I walked away as the two men pulled out their PDAs and started comparing schedules. I shook my head and joined Denny.
            “Erin.” Janie touched my arm. “Look who’s here.”
            Ellie and SueAnn were Mom’s and Janie’s best friends for many years, but were across the country when we informed them of Mom’s death. I hadn’t expected to see them at her memorial service, but here was Ellie. I threw my arms around her neck and hugged her tight. Ellie’s unexpected presence caused my tears to choose that instant to flow. Ellie hugged me, rocking me from side to side, just as she had so many times when I was a small child with some imagined hurt.
            Ellie set me back on my feet and dried my face with the oversized handkerchief she pulled out of the inside pocket of her suit. I was embarrassed to see there was a small crowd gathered around us. Many patted my back or offered me a hug of comfort, but most wanted to greet Ellie.
            “How did you get here so quickly?” I asked. “I thought y’all were in Maine or somewhere when I called.”
            “It was New Hampshire, but we wanted to be here for you and Janie. So we got here as fast as we could.”
            “Where is SueAnn?” I asked, looking around for the little round woman I loved so much.
            “She couldn’t bring herself to come,” Ellie said, sadness creasing her face. “The things Derrick said last time we were here still hurt her.”
            I shook my head. Derrick married into a high-falutin’ family who thought anyone who wasn’t straight, white, blonde, and Southern Baptist was going to hell. He crashed a party Mom gave Ellie and SueAnn just before they left and preached hell and damnation to us all. SueAnn, who had just retired from the school system, had been his main target; he asked her how many innocent children she had “recruited” into her deviant “lifestyle.”
            “I can’t blame her,” I said. “I wish I could avoid him too, but unfortunately I can’t. At least not until Mom’s estate is settled.”
            I turned to Denny and Janie.
            “Mr. Hallaby and Derrick are scheduling the reading of Mom’s will and Mr. Hallaby wants us all there. I’ll let you know when, okay?”
            The crowd in the reception hall was beginning to thin out. Derrick was shaking hands with Mr. Hallaby and the minister. Denny, Janie, Ellie, and I went into the chapel to retrieve the cards from the multitude of floral arrangements sent.
            “I’ll take care of those,” Derrick said. “You’ll probably forget you’ve got them and not get any notes sent out.”
            “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I said. “But Janie and I plan on sitting down tomorrow to write the notes, so you can just go rest on your laurels.”
            “I wish you two would try to get along just for today,” Janie said, her voice plaintive. “Your mom would want that, you know.”
            I hugged her and apologized in a whisper. She hugged me back, but Derrick just walked away without acknowledging her words.
            “Why don’t y’all let me treat you to dinner tonight?” Ellie asked.
            “I think that is a good idea,” Denny said. “I know Erin didn’t eat much this morning and I expect Janie didn’t either. Where would you like us to meet you?”
            “Y’all come out to the RV park about sixish and we’ll decide where to eat then,” Ellie said. “We’re in lot 281 at Burton’s on the farm road.”
 

Mom’s and Janie’s house was eerily quiet when we arrived to pick Janie up that evening. Janie wasn’t waiting in the front room as usual. I went through the house and found her sitting on the patio. I put my hand on her shoulder.
            “Oh! You startled me!”
            “I’m sorry, Janie. I thought you heard me open the door.”
            “I was thinking about the day your mom and I put up all those birdfeeders. Do you remember?”
            I laughed.
            “How could I forget? Mom wanted them one place; you wanted them on the other side of the yard. I’d never heard y’all fuss the way you did that day.”
            “We finally just put feeders in both places. And look at all the birds.”
            Janie gestured at the yard. Birds of all kinds fed at a variety of feeders and bathed at three birdbaths. Mom and Janie spent hours on the patio watching the birds and recording the different species.
            “It will be strange if I have to move somewhere I can’t have my birds,” Janie said.
            “You aren’t going to have to move! If I have to buy Derrick out and give you the house, that’s what I’ll do.”
            “You and Denny don’t have that kind of money, Erin.”
            “You just don’t worry about it. Let’s go. Denny is waiting out front for us.”
            Twenty minutes later we arrived at Burton’s RV Park and found lot 281. Ellie’s and SueAnn’s large fifth wheel backed up to a beautiful pond and wooded area. They were lounging in chairs under the green and white awning stretched out from the RV.
            Ellie unfolded her long frame and met us at the car. She had changed from her dress suit to jeans, boots, and a western shirt. With her very short haircut, she was as mannish as she was the first time I saw her.
            “It’s about time y’all got here,” she said. “We’re having a competition to see whose tummy can growl the loudest.”
            SueAnn was right behind her, her short round frame a distinct contrast to the woman in front of her. I bent to hug her and was stunned to see how stooped she had become since the last time I saw her.
            “Momma Sue!” I cried. “I have missed you so much!”
            “Oh, baby!” she said, patting my back and kissing my cheek. “Let me look at you.”
            I stood back, my hands still on her shoulders. She studied me up and down, reaching to smooth my collar down, just as she always did even when it didn’t need it. She nodded her approval.
            “Denny, it looks like you’re taking good care of our girl,” she said, looking past me to the woman I loved more than anyone. “And it looks like she’s taking pretty good care of you too.”
            Denny came up and hugged SueAnn, gently massaging the older woman’s shoulders.
            “Momma Sue,” Denny whispered. “We’ve missed you and Ellie. I’m so glad you’re home.”
            “Y’all don’t start the caterwauling,” Ellie said, sniffling herself. “We’ll never get any dinner if you do.”
            Janie laughed, wiping her nose with her ever-present hanky. She and SueAnn traded hugs and then we all climbed in our SUV and went to the steak house.
            We were seated at a round table set for six. As the waiter started to remove the sixth place setting, Janie stopped him.
            “Please leave it,” she said.
            “Are you expecting someone else?”
            “No,” was her answer. “She’s already here.”
            We were all quiet for a moment as the waiter shrugged and walked away. It seemed strange to be in Mom’s favorite restaurant without her.
            After our dinner of thick steaks and loaded baked potatoes, we lingered over coffee, visiting and catching up with SueAnn and Ellie. They scooted their chairs closer together and Ellie had her hand on the back of SueAnn’s chair. Denny and I had done the same. Denny’s hand was on my knee and mine was on her shoulder.
            “So, Ellie,” I said. “It seems retirement agrees with you.”
            “Oh, it sure does.” She laughed. “I always wanted to see the country and now that’s exactly what we’re doing. We stop when we get tired and we stay as long as we want to stay.”
            “SueAnn, do you miss teaching?” Janie brushed her iron-gray hair out of her eyes.
            “I do sometimes,” SueAnn said. “But it seems kids are drawn to me so I still get to tell a good story to a group almost everywhere we stop.”
            “That’s cool,” I said, setting my coffee cup in its saucer. “I work with so many teens these days that I forget that younger kids can actually be fun to be around.”
            “Are you still at the Lesbian Community Center?” SueAnn asked.
            “I am. Only it’s called the LGBTQ Community Center now. It’s much more inclusive and we can help more people. I helped start a crisis line for people coming to terms with their sexuality and most of them are teens. We’ve started support groups for them too and I moderate a couple of them.”
            “I’m so proud of the work she does,” Denny said, rubbing my back. “There’s no telling how many suicides she has prevented.”
            Suddenly a woman I had noticed staring at us was standing at our table.
            “How dare you all flaunt your sinful ways in this family restaurant!” she yelled, pounding her fist on the table, making the coffee cups jump. “You all need to repent of your sins and give God your lives or you will burn in hell for your evil ways. People like you are spawn of the devil!”
            The five of us were shocked into silence, as were most of the other patrons in the restaurant. Just as I saw the manager start in our direction, Denny turned to me and kissed me, right on the lips, long and deep. Caught off guard, it took me a moment to respond, but then I kissed her right back.
            When we finally came up for air, the woman was standing there with her mouth wide open in shock. And then to our great surprise and delight, almost everyone else in the restaurant began to applaud. Ellie and SueAnn burst out laughing and Janie turned the most adorable shade of red.
            The manager escorted the irate woman out and returned to our table.
            “Miss Greggory, I’m so sorry that happened,” he said, addressing Janie.
            “Mr. Shaw, you didn’t tell that woman to come preach at us, so you have nothing to apologize for.”
            “Thank you, ma’am. I was sure sorry to hear of Mrs. Long’s passing. We’ll miss her here.” The manager patted Janie on the shoulder as he returned to his post near the front door.
            “Let’s go back to the RV park,” SueAnn said. “This particular spawn of the devil could use a breath of fresh air.”
            We all laughed, releasing the tension we felt after the attack. It wasn’t the first time such a thing had happened to us and we knew it wouldn’t be the last, but it was still unsettling
 

Back at the RV park, Ellie switched on the string of lanterns hanging from the awning. SueAnn brought out glasses of ice-cold lemonade and we all settled into the most comfortable lawn chairs I had ever seen.
            “We need chairs like these at home,” I told Denny. “They’re a lot more comfortable than those ratty things we’ve got!”
            “Honey,” SueAnn said. “These chairs cost us as much as a new living room suit would cost y’all!”
            “No wonder they’re so comfortable!” I sipped my lemonade. “Momma Sue, you make the best lemonade I’ve ever had.”
            “You haven’t changed a bit, Missy! You started buttering me up when I had you in my second grade class and you’ve not stopped since.”
            We all laughed, memories flooding back over us.
            “Do you remember the first day I met you and your mom, Erin?” Ellie asked.
            “I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. We were at Haven’s Rest Park playground and I had fallen off the monkey bars. Derrick just stood laughing at me. He didn’t realize I was really hurt. I think if he had, he wouldn’t have laughed like that. We were still friends back then.”
            “That’s right. I came over to see why you were crying so hard and why your brother wasn’t helping you. That’s when I realized your arm was broken.”
            “You scooped me up like I didn’t weigh an ounce and Derrick led you back to where Mom and Jane were. I’ll never forget Mom saying ‘Thank you, sir,’ and you saying ‘You’re welcome, ma’am, but I’m not a sir.’”
            Laughter rang out again, the loudest from Ellie herself.
            “I guess I was a little mannish back then.”
            “A little! Back then!” I laughed again. “Ellie, the first thing I noticed when you stooped to ask me if I was okay were those big, black, pointy-toed cowboy boots and then when I looked up, that huge cowboy hat. And have you looked in a mirror lately? How many times a day do you get called ‘sir’?”
            “How old were you when you broke your arm, Erin?” Denny asked. “Were you six or seven? I know you’ve told me but I can’t remember.”
            “I had just turned seven and was about to enter second grade,” I said.
            “You still had your cast on your arm when school started,” SueAnn said. “I remember hoping you were left handed since it was your right arm.”
            “Remember the look on Kay’s face at the fall carnival when she saw you there, Ellie?” Jane said. “She told me, ‘That’s the woman who helped Erin in the park. I wonder what she’s doing here.’ Then we saw you were working at the second grade booth with SueAnn. It wasn’t much longer after that we all started running around together.”
            “SueAnn was Miss Howard to me,” I said. Turning to her, I added, “I was in seventh grade before I could bring myself to call you SueAnn.”
            “Once we all became friends, we discovered what a small world it really is,” SueAnn said. “It turned out we had a lot of the same friends. We just saw them at different times in different circumstances.”
            “It seems strange we didn’t know each other back in elementary school,” Denny said to me. “I was only two years behind you. I had SueAnn for second grade too, and I also had the same fourth grade teacher, Mr. Beckham.”
            “Elementary school students don’t tend to notice the students in other grades unless they have a sibling in that grade,” SueAnn said, standing to pour us each more lemonade.
            “It took us ‘til college to meet since we didn’t go to the same middle or high school,” Denny said, rubbing my back. “I’ve often wondered if we would have been friends if we had gone to the same schools.”
            “Probably not,” I said. “Even in college, you tended to gravitate more toward the academic crowd while I stayed among the shiftless.”
            Denny laughed as she reached over to kiss me on the cheek.
            “I know. I remember wondering how you ever passed a class when all it seemed you did was pester anyone who would listen about equal rights and starting a NOW group on campus and finding a safe place for the gay students to meet without being harassed.”
            “Yeah, but look at all she accomplished,” Janie said proudly. “The campus has how many clubs and groups for the gay kids? And almost all because Erin made all that noise.”
            I blushed in response to her praise. I was proud of the fact kids on campus had places they could go to feel safe, something that didn’t exist when Denny and I were students. I was proud of our Community Center too. I knew it was as successful as it was because I continued to stand up for the LGBTQ community.
            “Wow! It’s almost midnight,” Denny said, rising from her chair and offering me her hand. “You may have the week off, but I’m expected bright and early at the office. We gotta get home. Janie, are you ready?”
            “I am,” she said, stifling a yawn. “It’s been a long day.”
            “Janie, why don’t you stay here tonight?” Ellie said. “That big trailer has three bedrooms. And you won’t have to be alone. I’m sure we can find something for you to sleep in.”
            Janie gratefully accepted her invitation. She kissed Denny and me goodnight as we climbed into our SUV.
            “I’ll see you tomorrow, sugar,” she said. “We need to get those thank you notes written.”
            I kissed her back and promised to pick her up early the next day.
            I realized how exhausted I was once I climbed in bed. Denny stretched out beside me, her arm thrown across my chest. Even as tired as I was, she was already sleeping long before I was able to rest.
 

The next day, after picking Janie up from the RV park, the two of us spent a few hours writing thank you notes to everyone who sent flowers to Mom’s service. Most of them were sent by members of the tight circle of friends Mom and Janie were members of. But one of the arrangements was from my paternal grandparents. I hadn’t seen them since my college graduation when they discovered I was a lesbian. I knew they only sent the arrangement because Derrick was still in their good graces. They certainly hadn’t sent it to honor Mom, since they hadn’t had much to do with her since Dad died.
            I handed the card to Janie.
            “Think I should let Derrick write this note?” I asked.
            “No, I think you should write it. Maybe you can make amends with them.”
            “I don’t have amends to make,” I said. “They’re the ones who decided not to have anything to do with me.”
            “You’re as bad as they are if you can’t write this thank you note. I’m not asking you to become their best friend; just to be better than they are.”
            I hung my head. Janie always knew how to get a lesson across in a gentle but firm matter. My cell phone rang as I wrote the note.
            “What, Derrick?” I said.
            “Hello to you too,” he said. “I just wanted to let you know Mr. Hallaby wants us in his office tomorrow at eleven. Think you can be on time?”
            I bit my tongue and took a deep breath. I had to learn not to let the sanctimonious idiot get under my skin.
            “We’ll be there, Derrick.” I flipped the phone closed before he had a chance to say anything else.
            “Good job, Erin.” Janie laughed as she reached over and patted my clenched fist. “I’m proud of you for keeping your end of the conversation civil.”
            “Gawd, that man has gotten worse with age!” I went on to let Janie know what time we needed to be at the lawyer’s office.
            “I’m really scared,” Janie said, her voice so low I almost couldn’t hear her. “If Kay didn’t make provisions for me to stay here, I really have no place to go.”
            “Janie, I’m sure Mom knew that when she drew up the will.”
            “I hope so. Do you remember Lorraine and Camille?”
            “Lorraine is in the same nursing home Mom was, isn’t she?”
            “Yes. She had a severe stroke a few years ago and had to be put in the nursing home for twenty-four-hour care. But Camille isn’t allowed to see her and she had to move out of the house they shared for almost twenty-five years.”
            “I didn’t know that! How could that happen?”
            “Lorraine’s family threw Camille out and put it in Lorraine’s records that only immediate family is allowed to visit. Since they hadn’t put the house in both of their names and since they hadn’t had medical powers-of-attorney drawn up, Camille has no recourse.”
            “That’s awful! Is that why y’all were so adamant about having the powers-of-attorney done?”
            “Yes. We knew you would have no problem with me being with your mom, but we weren’t sure about Derrick.”
            “And the house? Why didn’t Mom put your name on the deed?”
            “Tax reasons. It’s hard to explain, but the taxes would have been much higher if there were two single ladies’ names on the deed instead of a married couple.”
            “So that’s why you’ve been so worried!”
            I went around the table and hugged Janie.
            “Whatever happens tomorrow, Denny and I will be sure you have a place to live. We won’t let you be put out on the street. I promise!”
 

Denny arranged with her office to take a long lunch so she could attend the reading of Mom’s will with us. Since she worked in the same building, we agreed to meet her there.
            Mr. Hallaby’s dark paneled office seemed appropriate for the reading of a will. It was a depressing place. The chairs were uncomfortable and the lighting dim. His desk was huge, dwarfing his already small stature
            “I’m glad you all could make it this morning,” he said, smoothing his sparse gray hair back. “I just need to take an official, recorded roll to be sure everyone mentioned in Mrs. Long’s will is present.” He turned the tape recorder sitting on the desk on. “Derrick and Virginia Long are here; as are Erin Long, Denise Parker, and Jane Greggory. We can get started now.”
            He switched the recorder off as his assistant rolled a combination television/VCR set out from the corner and inserted a tape.
            “I will read the official will in a few minutes, but Mrs. Long made this video tape shortly after she became ill and asked me to play it before reading her will.”
            The TV screen flickered to life as Mr. Hallaby pushed play and then there was Mom, her favorite green silk scarf wrapped around her head. I heard Janie take a deep breath. I took her hand, which she held on to as though it were her only lifeline.
            “Hello, family,” Mom said from the tape. “I wanted to make this tape before the cancer made me too sick so I could personally tell you what is in my will and what I have decided to do with my assets instead of y’all just hearing it from a cold piece of paper. Mr. Hallaby tells me he still has to read it so it will be official, but he has kindly let me do it this way as well.
            “First of all, before I go any further, Derrick….”
            My brother set up straighter, leaning toward the television, greed alive and well on his face. His mousy little wife sat forward also.
            “Derrick, I don’t think you’re going to like some of the things you’re going to hear today. But, after doing some research I have discovered I can tell you this: If you decide to fight my will, to take it to court, I can fix it where you will get nothing, absolutely nothing.”
            “Stop!” My brother was on his feet, pushing the pause button, turning to Mr. Hallaby as he did so. “What is she talking about?”
            “Your mother asked me not to reveal what is in the will until after you watched the tape. But what your mother means is that she sat down with another probate lawyer, a probate judge, and me and she discovered she can legally leave you nothing if you decide to contest her will. Now please, have a seat so we can get on with the video.”
            Derrick sat down, slumping low in his chair. Virginia put her hand on his arm, but he shook it off.  
            “I’ll begin with you, my darling Janie. You have been a constant in my life since fifth grade, when I first fell in love with you. You have encouraged me, strengthened me, helped me over these long years. Even after I married Roger, you stood by me, continued to be my friend. And when he died, you held me in your arms and let me grieve the loss of a good friend. You waited for me to be ready and when I was, you came and helped me raise my children. Sometimes I think you were a better mother to them than I was. I love you, Janie dear, with all my heart. And because of that, I leave you the house, free and clear. The mortgage is paid, as you know. I’ve made arrangements for the insurance to be paid for the next five years, so all you’ll have to worry about is the taxes. I know you can handle those with your pension.”
            Janie’s tears were flowing freely and her hanky was once again soggy. I had come prepared and handed her a dry one. The smile I got was one of relief and gratitude.
            “Denny,” my mom’s video continued. “I love you as though you are my own. The love you’ve shown my renegade daughter is so strong, so complete. Watching the two of you together makes me wish Janie and I had had the opportunities y’all have had. But then, Derrick and Erin wouldn’t be here, so I guess all worked out as it should. Because of your love for Erin, for me, for Janie and even for Derrick, I am leaving you the silver brooch watch I know you love so much. I’m also leaving you my silver-toed cowboy boots. I know they fit since you found reason to borrow them often enough. I love you, dear girl. Continue to love my daughter and to comfort her. Thank you for being in our lives.”
            Virginia’s face was a storm of disappointment and anger. She specifically asked Mom to leave her the watch within days of Mom’s diagnosis, when Mom was still relatively healthy. None of us, except maybe Derrick, could believe she was already planning what she would get when Mom was gone. But that was the kind of woman Virginia was.
            Denny’s face, on the other hand, was a picture of shock. Her eyes were big and her mouth gaped open. She looked at me and I could see the tears glistening in her eyes. She mouthed the words, “Oh, my!” to me. I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek, whispering in her ear, “You deserve those and more!”
            “Derrick, Erin, I am worth quite a bit more than any of you have an idea. In fact, I know Derrick doesn’t have a clue or he would have hounded me for more over the years than he has anyway.”
            I stifled a laugh, even as Derrick harrumphed in protest.
            “When your father died in the explosion at the plant, he left a considerable life insurance policy. The trusts set up with it put both of y’all through college and, Derrick, yours paid the down payment for that monstrosity of a house you and your wife bought. Erin, your money has continued to be held in trust, collecting interest all this time.”
            “Trusts? What trusts?” Derrick interrupted the proceedings once again. “We were never told about any trusts!”
            “Hush, Derrick,” Mr. Hallaby said patiently. “Your mother is trying to explain.”
           “You kids weren’t told about the trusts at the insistence of your father’s will. But now, according to your father’s will, the trusts will be in y’all’s control upon my death.  Use the money wisely. Mr. Hallaby will give you the details.
            “The plant also gave me a rather large settlement to keep me from joining the suit brought against them by other family members. In fact, I ended up with more than what they got, the idiots. Anyway, with the help of a competent accountant, the money has been wisely invested.
            “Derrick, you will be getting a majority of the stock portfolio. I know you are good at playing the stock market, so I’ll trust you to continue to invest my stocks wisely. Your strict, fundamentalist, narrow-mindedness, as well as your inability to save money or spend it wisely has forced me to make the following decisions. I am leaving my two grandchildren sizable trust funds, but the control of those funds will stay in my accountant’s and Mr. Hallaby’s hands so I know they will get the money. I want them to be able to run away from you two as soon as they are old enough, which is upon college graduation or the age of twenty-three, whichever comes first.”
            I could see my brother gritting his teeth to keep from commenting about the things Mom was saying. I have to admit, I was enjoying watching his discomfort.
            “Miss Erin. You have always been my most independent child. You never once asked for my help – not to learn to tie your shoes, not to ride a bike, nothing. It used to hurt my feelings until I realized we were just alike. I never liked asking for help either. I’m proud of the strong woman you’ve become. I’m proud of the work you do to try to make life easier for the young people in our community. The Community Center is a wonderful place and because of that, I’m leaving them one third of the money in my trust account. Mr. Hallaby will fill you in on the exact amount, but I will tell you this – the number is approximately three million dollars.”
            I gasped. Mom and Janie lived so simply for so long I had no idea Mom had this kind of money. Three million dollars for the community center! That was more than the donations we received over the course of five years. Those funds would be put to good use. I wish I could have told Mom thank you in person. I thought Derrick was choking to death; he had loosened his tie and was making strange noises in his throat.
            “One third of the rest of the money is yours, Erin. Hire a good accountant and learn to invest wisely, or just let them do it for you. Mr. Hallaby will put you in touch with some people we both trust.”
            It was my turn to almost choke. Mom left me three million dollars! I looked at Denny and knew the incredulous look on her face was a mirror of my own.
            “One-third of the last third will be divided up between the charities Janie and I regularly give to, including the Metropolitan Community Church youth group, the Human Rights Commission, and the Red Cross. The balance will be put into a trust for Janie to live on and to use to pay any debts I have remaining.
            “Now, Derrick, I want you to remember if you challenge my will in any legal manner, the stock portfolio I gave you will revert back to my estate and Mr. Hallaby has instructions on what to do with it then.
            “Well, I guess that about covers everything. I love you all. Take care of each other and be patient with each other. I’ll be watching over you all. Derrick, be assured, I WILL haunt you if you cause Janie any trouble. Janie, you are the most special woman on earth. Know it; never forget it. Denny and Erin, trust your love for each other. Let it grow. ‘Bye until you join me.”
            The video tape ended and the room was quiet except for the static on the TV set. Mr. Hallaby hit the stop button.
            “Do any of you have any questions before we go on?”
            “Is she serious that all I get is the stock portfolio?” Derrick asked. “I should get a third of her money too. I am her son after all and the oldest!”
            “Derrick, the stock portfolio is worth a considerable amount of money, and if invested properly and wisely, can make you a rich man. I would be happy with that and not make any attempts to get anything else, or you will lose everything,” Mr. Hallaby said, wiping his face with a large, white handkerchief.
            “But…” Derrick said, stopping when Virginia smacked him on the arm.
            “Shut up, Derrick. This way we at least get something.”
            I had to suppress a laugh. It was the first time I ever saw Virginia go against my brother.
            I looked at Janie. Her face was red from crying, but she had a small smile on her face.
            “I’m going to be okay,” she said, relief pouring from her voice. “I’m going to be okay.”
            “Yes, you are,” I said, kneeling in front of her. “My darling second momma, you are indeed going to be okay. I love you!”
            “I hate to interrupt, but there is one more thing Mrs. Long wanted to tell y’all but she was getting so tired we couldn’t do it the day we made that tape. So, she made a second one a few days later.” Mr. Hallaby inserted the second tape and perched on the corner of his desk.
            “Hello again, loved ones. It occurred to me after we stopped the first tape that I hadn’t told y’all how to dispose of my ashes.”
            I heard Janie’s sharp intake of breath and squeezed her hand. Mom’s ashes currently sat on their dining room table in a cedar box.
            “Janie, this is your job. Although we discussed our wishes to be cremated, we never fully discussed how to dispose of the ashes. Here’s what I want you to do. Throw a huge party. Invite all of our friends. Tell Ellie and SueAnn to get their asses back in town to be there. I want all of y’all to go to all the places we loved so much and leave a little bit of me in each place. Leave some at Haven’s Rest Park, under the picnic table where you first told me you loved me. Go to the beach at the lake where Ellie and SueAnn used to have their Fourth of July party. Go to Rosewood Club and leave some of me on the steps so everyone going in to dance will take me with them. Send some with Ellie and SueAnn and ask them to leave me at the Grand Canyon and in the Redwoods. You and our friends can decide if there are other places. And kids, y’all are invited too. But Derrick, if you can’t behave yourself and keep your self-righteous, judgmental tongue quiet, DON’T go. That’s all. I love you!”
            The sound of Janie’s laugh surprised us all. It was the last thing I expected to hear. I was afraid the sadness that she felt since Mom died, since before that – when Mom was told there was nothing more that could be done – would become a permanent part of her.
            “Kay always has the best ideas, and she always knows how to perk me up when I’m feeling down,” she said, grinning from ear to ear, tears still running down her face. “Ellie and SueAnn are already here, so we better get cracking on this party before their itchy feet get the best of them.”
            By the time Mr. Hallaby finished reading the official document and we all signed the necessary papers and made the necessary arrangements it was already after two p.m.
             “Why do you think your Mom kept all of this a secret, Erin?” she asked before I could suggest we go get some rest.
             “I don’t know, Janie. Mom was always secretive with me, but I don’t know why she didn’t tell you about her money and what she planned on doing with it. Did you have any idea she had so much stashed away?”
             “No, I didn’t. I know we never wanted for anything, even when we were both out of work when the company downsized in the nineties. The extra money we got for accepting early retirement wouldn’t have been enough to sustain us for as long as it did, but your mom was always good with a budget where I wasn’t. So I let her handle everything. I guess one reason we did so well was the money she had.”
             The two of us rode along in silence toward the house, each lost in our own thoughts. I was tired, mentally and emotionally. I expected Janie was too.
             “You want me to drop you off at your house so you can take a nap?” I asked, as we climbed in the car.
             To my surprise, Janie shook her head. She looked at me and smiled a smile I hadn’t seen on her face in almost five years.
             “No! We’ve got to go out to the RV park and get the girls to help me plan this shindig. Call them and tell them we’re on the way.”
             I laughed and dialed the number.
 

Two weeks later twenty women, including Denny and me, gathered at Janie’s and Mom’s house. Derrick and Virginia wisely chose not to attend. Ellie and some of the others grilled steaks, chicken, and fish; the rest of us brought salads and baked beans and pies. We tried to serve as many of Mom’s favorite dishes as we possibly could.
            After our feast and a lot of laughter and tears, we formed a caravan and headed out. Janie cradled the box holding Mom’s ashes on her lap. We stopped at all of the places Mom mentioned in her video as well as a few others. At each place, someone or several people would tell what the significance of the place was, the fun they had there with Mom, and share some of the memories formed.
            My choice was the nursing home where Mom lived out her last days. We scattered some of her ashes in the rose garden. I leaned back against Denny who held me tight, her arms wrapped around my waist, my head leaning on her chest. My tears flowed then, freely, like Janie’s did at the memorial service.
            Ellie and SueAnn left for the Grand Canyon two days later, Mom’s ashes safely tucked away under the front seat. They called us from the North Rim and talked about the time they took Mom and Janie there. As they talked, they told us Mom’s ashes were floating slowly down.
            Mom is gone now, but her legacy lives on forever in the new GLBTQ Community Center building her money helped create. We are able to reach out to more young people and latebloomers and hold more classes at schools and churches across town about diversity, equal rights, and tolerance.
            Her friends are closer now because of her generosity and her wonderful idea of making scattering her ashes a party. Janie is happy in the house where Mom and she made a home, her bird feeders always full and the door always open for us.
            Denny and I have strong powers-of-attorney drawn up, both medical and durable, so if one of is sick or injured the other will hopefully be treated with the respect a spouse is due. Together we consulted an accountant about the best way to invest the money Mom left us. We used part of it to buy us a house. And both our names are on the deed!
            Derrick still simmers and pouts about his portion of the inheritance, even though it turned out he got nearly as much as I did. Neither he nor Virginia speaks to me. But his daughter often comes to see me at the Center. She hasn’t come out yet, but I expect her to soon.
            I am happy, even though I miss Mom so much. I now know Mom really was the woman eulogized at her memorial service. And I know she was proud of me. I’m in love with a beautiful woman, one who loves me and respects me. Not only am I happy, I’m blessed.